Growing Weary

Have you ever grown weary of doing something? I certainly have and honestly I am pretty weary of something right now. Nearly three years ago I started work on my doctorate degree and now I have what many students would refer to as senioritis. I am scheduled to graduate in December of this year but much still has to be done to reach that huge milestone. I could not tell you how many late nights I have worked at this point, how much of my writing has been submitted only to need to be rewritten and edited thoroughly, or how much sacrifice my family or my church has made in order for me to fulfill this calling. But I am tired. I am tired of writing. I am weary of working towards this goal. But it is a calling and I must continue to completion.

I know that God called me to do this so that I would be a better disciple-maker. I know that God called me to do this so that I could be equipped to bring much glory to him. I do not know what God has in store for me as a result of this but I know that he has my good and his glory in mind. My project focuses on creating a disciple-making strategy that is tailored specifically for Sardis Baptist Church and I believe wholeheartedly that God has big things in store for me and for my church but this process is just so tedious. I guess they don't just give out doctorates do they?...if it was easy it wouldn't be worth much.

That reminds me of his grace. Recently I preached a sermon about the costliness of grace. In it, I referenced one of my faith heroes, Dietrich Bonhoeffer. Bonhoeffer once said that grace is "Costly because it cost God the life of his Son: 'Ye were bought at a price', and what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us." Insomuch that grace is not cheap, it should cost us something. We should make some sacrifice. There have been many times that I have failed him. There have been many times that I have tried to make his grace cheap. Although I am pursuing higher education for his glory, I fail him much more than I sacrifice for him and I grow weary in serving him. That is when I realize that I am finding my strength in myself. I realized a long time ago that if I pursue anything with the wrong motives that it ceases to bring glory to God and becomes worthless. Remember what the Bible says about our righteousness? Filthy rags. A doctorate just to build me up becomes a filthy rag. A wise man once said that "a doctorate doesn't require a smart man, just a perseverant one." I am no better than anyone. God called me to this just as he calls anybody to anything. My argument here is simply to persevere in the Lord in whatever he has called you to.

If we trust in the Lord he will renew us; he will strengthen us. Isaiah 40:31 says "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Our hope is in him, not in ourselves. God is so good that he even promises blessings to us when we persevere. Galatians 6:9 says "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." Read that again! If we do not give up, WE will reap the benefits!

I write this not to boast on myself or on any higher education because as Solomon says in Ecclesiastes 2:16 "For of the wise as of the fool there is no enduring remembrance, seeing that in the days to come all will have been long forgotten. How the wise dies just like the fool!" I simply write to encourage myself and you to not give up. Let your strength be in the Lord. He wants us to serve him and sometimes that's just not easy but just remember that "what has cost God much cannot be cheap for us."